Counsel to a new mother at her baby shower
Here is a talk I gave to a young woman in our church who is pregnant with her first child:
Dear young mother,
Your heart has been full of dreams and hopes for your little child for many months now. I know what it’s like for I’ve had six in nine years. I want to offer some encouragement and godly counsel to you as you begin to serve the Lord in a new capacity as a mother, with greater responsibility than ever before and graver consequences for error.
Let the Lord build your house. Psalm 127 says, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it.” We need to realize that from God’s perspective, all of our parenting can be in vain. We can feed them, clothe them, and pay for an expensive college education, and still have done it all in vain if our children gain the whole world, but we lose their souls. We can’t let society build our house, or television build our house, or even other church families. We are to prepare our children to reach their potential as God’s image-bearers. We are to prepare our children to rule and reign with Christ for all eternity. Success in this life and in the eyes of the world is not enough. In order to follow God as a mother, you must let Him build His house His way. You must follow the Owner’s Manual – the Bible – for the building and maintenance of your family. When we follow earthly examples for the building of our family, we aim too low. We need to aim for a Biblical Family, even if it makes us look like strangers and pilgrims in this world.
Be willing to be peculiar. Titus 2:14 and 1 Pet. 2:9 says that we are supposed to be a peculiar people. Titus says, “Christ gave himself for us, that He might redeem us from all sin, and purify unto himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.” There are plenty of women who blend in to our sin-drenched society. What God wants is a woman who will swim upstream, especially in the sinful times in which we live. He wants a woman who will be in the world and not of it, who will store up treasures in heaven and not on earth. It is so tempting for a young pretty mother to want to be esteemed in the eyes of the world. The desire to be admired by others is innocent in and of itself; even God wants to be admired by others. But we must pursue the admiration of God above the admiration of our peers and the world. Jesus said that the things that are esteemed highly in the eyes of sinful people are an abomination in the sight of God. And if we pursue the admiration of God first and foremost in all we do, it is inevitable that we will be ill thought of in this world. Remember, even Jesus with all His miracles ended up crucified on a tree, and He said that the servant is not greater than the Master.
Don’t worry about tomorrow. Matt. 6:33-34 says, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” One of the best things I have done over the years as I have had more children and my days have become more challenging is to not think about tomorrow. Take it one day at a time. His mercies are new every morning and you only have enough faith for today’s trials. God promises to not let you be tested beyond your ability to endure. You will have the grace you need for tomorrow’s challenges when they arrive. Do not make decisions in the building of your family based upon your fears of tomorrow. Whatever difficulties tomorrow holds, God’s grace will be sufficient for you. Have confidence in sovereignty over your life, and His love and care for you.
Don’t allow your children to come before your husband. I don’t think Patrick and I held hands for about six years of our marriage. We always had a baby or a diaper bag in our arms. Eventually I realized I had to change my priorities a little. Now we have a date night every Friday night and I spend a lot more energy nurturing my relationship with my husband. As a result, he has become much more passionate about me and my needs. As a result, we are both a lot happier, as are our children.
Don’t allow your children to come before God. In my early parenting years, I expended so much energy in formulating just the right schedule for my baby’s feeding and sleeping that too many days went by without bowing my head in prayer or opening my Bible to meditate upon God’s Word. God wants to be our first love – even above our children! The busyness of motherhood is not an excuse for forgetting about Him. Seek ye first the King and His Kingdom, and all these things other things you need will be added unto you.