Young woman who has abortion in January of 2007 at Capital Care writes letter to dead baby

Here is the letter to my child... you have permission to put this on the site , but please keep it anonymous. thanks and thank you for all the love and support, if only i had stopped to talk to you before i walked in, but i was too concerned if your cameras could see past my hoodie.. i heard a man yell.. "ma'am that baby...", but i blocked out the rest.. i was set on what i was to do... if i had talked to you i would have turned it around, but now is too late.. heaven and god have accepted my inncent child and one day we shall meet again.. here ya go..

To my child:
I wanted to write you a letter and I know even though you're not with me, I know you will hear every word. I live my life full of regret everyday. I wonder what your face would be like, how it would be to hold you. I think of the formula I never bought and the diapers I will never change. Your brother and sister don't even know you exist, maybe someday I will have the courage to tell them. I was so scared when I found out about your existence.. I was alone and afraid, but more than anything I was selfish. I never researched abortion and I wasn't really aware of how it really went. I thought you were undeveloped, a mass of tissue. It was weeks after your death that I found out this wasn't the case. I couldn't eat or sleep.. all I could do was think of you. Boy or Girl? What would I have named you? You would have cried your first cries in June, but instead you cried in January.. you wept for the world you would never know. I know you will never understand the mother who didn't want you. Everyday I wish you were here in my arms. You would be rolling over and laughing by now. How sweet your voice would be. Take God's hand, my child.. he will lead you through the darkness as he did on surgery day. I live life a selfish mortal, with much regret. I am sorry I didn't accept you as I had my other children. I don't understand myself now. I think of your cries and remember how I was only concerned about the pain I would feel. My pain was nothing compared to yours. Your arms were ripped from your body, and for what reason? I had no good reason. There is no good reason. I thought I couldn't afford you and I could see no way out.. the only people I had were inside the clinic. Little did I know there were people outside who actually cared for you, I was told they were harassers and not to stop for them. I was taught to fear them, but now I have been embraced by them and their love and even though I did something they believe so firmly against, they took my under their wing to guide me and help me to heal. I am healing and I hope you are too.. I'm sure you are, God is with you. Oneday we will see eachother again, please don't resent me, let me embrace you in heaven as I should have on Earth. Until that day, goodbye my child.. precious little boy or girl, I dream of your face every night.. and know that despite the ridiculous, uninformed decision I made, I do love you, but most of all, know that I'm sorry.
Love, Your Mother

To those of you out there who are looking at this site in hopes of making the right decision, please take this letter to heart. In January of 07 I killed my child.. you do not know the regret you will feel and the emptiness. Your child wants your love. Let me tell you something I wish I had thought of before you go on with this choice. I got pregnant when I was 17, I didn't want the child, the child was a burden to me for 9 whole entire months.. but is he a burden now? NO! He is the light of my life and without him I would not be who I am today. My baby was a burden for me and I gave it up instead of embracing it and accepting it like I had done twice before. I don't know how many nights I have sobbed and repeated over and over "I want my baby back".. but the harsh reality you have to face is if you have an abortion YOUR BABY IS DEAD.. YOU CAN'T GET IT BACK. Please stop and think first.. don't listen to the clinic, they just want your money. Think of something else you can do with $500.. don't use it to murder your child.